Bah humbug!
Maybe I'm mean or unimaginative or something, but I hate the idea of Santa Claus. I did not want to raise my children to believe the fable of Santa only to have their dreams crushed in a few short years. When Maddie was 2 or 3 and had heard of Santa from a movie she asked me "Is Santa real?" I had no hesitation when I told her "No Santa is not real, it's just kind of a silly game that we play around Christmas. Mommy and Daddy get you all your presents because we love you." She shrugged and went on to play with her blocks.
For a couple years after that we didn't really talk about whether Santa was real or not. Maddie would acknowledge his existence in movies and culture, but I was pretty sure she didn't actually believe in him and was just going along with the game. However, by the time she started kindergarten the conversation I had had with her as a toddler was long forgotten. Thanks to the influence of her classmates and Tim Allen movies, she full on believed in Santa Claus. When she came home from school in December all excited about Santa, I didn't have the heart to tell her, "nope your friends are wrong, Santa is a sham." So hesitantly, I began to go along with it.
Part of this is selfishness on my part and just wanting a little recognition. There's nothing worse then spending hours shopping and picking out the perfect gifts for your children only to have them open them on Christmas morning and say, "Thank you Santa!" Um no, thank you Mama!
Then there's the issue of using the idea of Santa as an incentive for kids to behave. "You better be good or Santa won't bring you presents!" Why do we have to put the pressure of disciplining our children on some fat guy? Can't we just say "Be good or I won't get you presents." I guess that sounds a lot more harsh.
If you want your kids to believe in Santa go ahead, play the game. But please, once they start asking, don't make up elaborate stories to keep the lie going. Kids are smart and eventually they'll know they've been lied to, and they'll be pissed. I just finished an old episode of Grey's Anatomy where a kid needed a heart transplant. They found a donor heart for him and his mom said "Honey Santa is bringing you a heart for Christmas!" The kid was like like, "No he's not. A kid had to die for me to get that heart. Santa's not real, and if he was he wouldn't go around killing kids so other kids can get their hearts." Smart kid.
In conclusion, this year my family and I will hang up our stockings and we'll continue to go along with the game. But Santa will not be the main focus. We will focus on the true meaning of Christmas and on how lucky we are to have each other.
Happy Holidays Y'all!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Thursday, December 12, 2013
"Hi, I'm Amanda, and I'm a stay at home mom."
"Hi, I'm Amanda, and I'm a stay at home mom." There I said it.
Since July 16th of this year, right after I finished my second term of Americorps, my new full time position has been a full time mom. I have had a lot of trouble coming to terms with this new job title. Being identified as "just a mom" has been a struggle for me. Not the work itself, no the "job" is the most rewarding thing I have ever done, but just with the negative connotations associated with it. It seems that ever since woman have had the option to go out into the workplace and have a career outside of the home any woman who chooses to stay at home to raise her children has been labeled as lazy or that they don't have a "real" career. In my honest opinion I sometimes thought that as well.
It's not exactly like I thought all stay at home moms were lazy, in truth I was actually jealous of them. In the last two years when I was literally working my ass off, I would meet a mom of a student at the school I worked out or a fellow parent in my daughter's class who had the luxury of staying home and was instantly jealous of them. I wished I had that as an option, but since I was a single mother at the time I obviously did not. Even though I envied their position I felt incredibly proud of myself that I could handle the role of being a mom and a full time employee at the same time. I was working from the time I got up in the morning to when I went to bed at night. It was exhausting, but it also gave me so much confidence that I could do it all.
When me and Luke got back together and we decided together that once my job was over in the middle of summer I wouldn't seek further employment, I was so excited to not have to work anymore. At the same time I felt guilty that I wasn't contributing financially to our household, and like I was being lazy. We had a few people over a few weeks after I stopped working and one of Luke's friends asked me what I did for a living. I nervously responded, "Well I just got done working full time at a middle school with at risk youth!" and explained a little more about what I did. I was honestly embarrassed to admit that my job title at the moment was "just a mom".
The job itself has never been much of an issue for me. I love being a mother. I'm sure there are lots of different kinds of stay at home moms out there. There's the kind who make homemade pot potpourri and iron their kids' clothes everyday and then there's the kind who turn on the TV and go play candy crush. I like to think that I fall somewhere in the middle. My children are very healthy and happy so I must being doing something right, right?
I'm still coming to terms with the title, but I'm feeling more content with it everyday. Some of the important things I've learned are:
1. I am not a "stay at home" mom. I run around everywhere. I prefer the term household coordinator.
2. I do not work as hard as working mothers. I admit it, and I'm happier this way.
3. We have a lower income with me not working, but I believe we have a higher quality of life.
4. My job is a respectable profession. The majority of people don't see me as "just a mom".
A lady who was doing my nails the other day (yep I get my nails done in the middle of the day while everyone else is working) made me feel good when she asked "Do you work outside the home?" rather than asking "Where I work" I told her that I don't and she replied, "You have the best job ever!"
I'm starting to agree with her.
Since July 16th of this year, right after I finished my second term of Americorps, my new full time position has been a full time mom. I have had a lot of trouble coming to terms with this new job title. Being identified as "just a mom" has been a struggle for me. Not the work itself, no the "job" is the most rewarding thing I have ever done, but just with the negative connotations associated with it. It seems that ever since woman have had the option to go out into the workplace and have a career outside of the home any woman who chooses to stay at home to raise her children has been labeled as lazy or that they don't have a "real" career. In my honest opinion I sometimes thought that as well.
It's not exactly like I thought all stay at home moms were lazy, in truth I was actually jealous of them. In the last two years when I was literally working my ass off, I would meet a mom of a student at the school I worked out or a fellow parent in my daughter's class who had the luxury of staying home and was instantly jealous of them. I wished I had that as an option, but since I was a single mother at the time I obviously did not. Even though I envied their position I felt incredibly proud of myself that I could handle the role of being a mom and a full time employee at the same time. I was working from the time I got up in the morning to when I went to bed at night. It was exhausting, but it also gave me so much confidence that I could do it all.
When me and Luke got back together and we decided together that once my job was over in the middle of summer I wouldn't seek further employment, I was so excited to not have to work anymore. At the same time I felt guilty that I wasn't contributing financially to our household, and like I was being lazy. We had a few people over a few weeks after I stopped working and one of Luke's friends asked me what I did for a living. I nervously responded, "Well I just got done working full time at a middle school with at risk youth!" and explained a little more about what I did. I was honestly embarrassed to admit that my job title at the moment was "just a mom".
The job itself has never been much of an issue for me. I love being a mother. I'm sure there are lots of different kinds of stay at home moms out there. There's the kind who make homemade pot potpourri and iron their kids' clothes everyday and then there's the kind who turn on the TV and go play candy crush. I like to think that I fall somewhere in the middle. My children are very healthy and happy so I must being doing something right, right?
I'm still coming to terms with the title, but I'm feeling more content with it everyday. Some of the important things I've learned are:
1. I am not a "stay at home" mom. I run around everywhere. I prefer the term household coordinator.
2. I do not work as hard as working mothers. I admit it, and I'm happier this way.
3. We have a lower income with me not working, but I believe we have a higher quality of life.
4. My job is a respectable profession. The majority of people don't see me as "just a mom".
A lady who was doing my nails the other day (yep I get my nails done in the middle of the day while everyone else is working) made me feel good when she asked "Do you work outside the home?" rather than asking "Where I work" I told her that I don't and she replied, "You have the best job ever!"
I'm starting to agree with her.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Happy Ending
So happy that I finally got my happy ending, and even happier that it's not the end at all, but a beautiful beginning of all the things to come.
When I eventually write my book, a variation of that cheesy sentence will be on the last page. After over three years apart me and the father of my children are officially back together. I am writing this blog from the cozy living room of the house that we bought together in April. It is so amazingly wonderful to be together as a family again. I feel like we are better than ever and the years apart were just what I needed to grow up. I've realized this term "grown up" can be whatever I want it to be. As long as I am being an amazing mother to my children and a loving girlfriend (wife, ex/future wife, lover, life partner, fiance, significant other.. I don't know what to call us anymore!) to Lucas I can still be the fun, carefree, travel loving woman that I am. I'm lucky to have such a supportive and trusting partner. The past few months have been some of the happiest of my life. I don't wanna be too cheesy but dang. It is so amazing to have all four members of my family under one roof (that we own and don't rent for that matter) and to be so incredibly in love with all three of my housemates. My beautiful daughter wants to go play in the pool in our backyard so I am off to go watch her play as the sun sets.
Cue the happy music :-)
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Studying?
So I decided to go back to school! I applied to Wsu spokane's master s in teaching program and was accepted! I'm pretty excited to go back to school, but I know it will be a lot of work. William is starting kindergarten in the fall so we'll all be in school. I'm sitting here studying for this west-e test I have to take before my classes even start and I'm reading a study guide I bought online. It takes me like an hour to read a page. everything is really concise and just gives the basic facts I need to know, so when I read something interesting like the building of the Panama canal I had to google it to learn more information, then I had to read about other canals and their importance in the shipping industry, which led to reading about shipping vessels, and then passenger ships (like titanic, an all time favorite), and then submarines, and then German u-boats and ww1, and ww2, and Hitler, and the marshal plan, and the cold war, and the race to the moon, and moon rocks,and the solar system........ I could go on all night. Then I remember I'm supposed to be studying. I loooove history and am always thirsty for more knowledge. I think I'm in the right field :-)
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