Frugal Mama- the cost of motherhood

My first few months home with baby Benjamin have flown by. He will be three months old next week and is doing great! At his 2 month check up he weighed 15 pounds even and was 25 inches long putting him in the 95% for weight and 99% for height. He's such a big little person! He's so strong too, he can already stand on his feet with someone holding his hands and can sit up with a little support.

Having him has made me think a lot about raising Maddie and Will as babies. My circumstances were a lot different when they were babies but ultimately raising a baby has been the same for me now being more settled in life as it was when I was 18 and pretty poor. I often hear people complain that raising a baby is so expensive; I don't know what they are talking about. There's a lot of gadgets out there for babies that you simply don't need and a lot of other things that can be purchased used or borrowed from friends. 

Diapers can be expensive, but if you shop around for sales you can find great deals. Before Benny was born Target had their diapers on sale in the store. There was also a cartwheel coupon for an extra 10% off and if you bought 2 big packs you got a $10 target gift card. I did the math, and I spent about 10 cents a diaper. I also got so many that I haven't had to buy diapers once since Benny's been alive. It boggles my mind when I see people buying tiny packs of Huggies for $10 for 20 diapers. Fifty cents a diaper?! That's ridiculous. Benny wears 6-8 diapers a day so thats .60-.80 cents. Paying 50 cents a diaper puts you in at 3-4 dollars. That's a huge difference that adds up a lot over time. 

Another expensive thing is baby clothes. If you go into the average baby store and pay full price for an outfit it's going to cost you about $20. That same exact outfit is probably sitting in a giant bag of baby clothes that a friend, family member, or acquaintance's baby wore once and outgrew. Babies grow so fast that it would be silly and completely ecologically irresponsible to buy an entire new wardrobe for every baby in the world. Most of Benny's clothes were hand me downs from friends who have little boys. He's such a big boy that he never fit into newborn clothes (except the one outfit that I bought for him to wear home from the hospital that I squeezed him into). He outgrow his 0-3 month clothes at 6 weeks old, and some of his 3-6 month stuff is already getting a little snug. I'm so thankful that I didn't spend hundreds of dollars on clothes that he never would have worn, or only worn once. The stuff he's outgrow is neatly boxed up and waiting for the next friend or family member who has a little boy. 

There's a million gadgets made for babies these days. Some are useful and amazing, some are crap. Some are fine purchased used, some I'd rather get new. Things I bought new for Benny are a travel system, pack n play, and high chair. Things I found used and in good condition are a swing, bouncy seat, and bumbo seat. Most swings and bouncy seats have covers that can come off and be washed and are like new. Babies only use these for a few months anyway. Car seats should be bought new because you never know if it's been in an accident or something. And I preferred to get a new highchair and pack n play because Benny's gonna use them for years. Ultimately it's a personal decision how much you wanna spend on a baby, but it can definitely be done cheaply and not wastefully. Every time me and Benny go somewhere I go over the check list in my head to make sure we have everything we need. But then I think, "Eh, I got my boobs to feed him, everything else is just extra"

Well I had my baby...

Throughout my whole pregnancy I thought my baby boy would come a little bit early. My first two kids were born 11 days early and baby boy was measuring almost a week ahead on an early ultrasound but they didn't change my due date. So in my mind my due date was around November 20th. When that day came and went I started getting very impatient. I had been having contractions for the whole month of November. They were never too painful but always uncomfortable. I had been working out during my pregnancy until I was about 32 weeks and my pelvic pain got so bad it hurt to even walk. On the morning of November 24th as I was blow drying my hair I started crying as I looked at my huge pregnant self in the mirror. I was so anxious and ready to meet my baby boy! I called my OB and changed my 39 week appointment to that day and went in later that afternoon with my mom. I brought my page long list of concerns to show my doctor, and I was really hoping she'd send me right over to the hospital. They did the basic check up and I rolled my eyes when they told me my blood pressure was perfect and everything looked great.She checked me and I was dilated to 3 which was good to hear that I was making a little progress. She said she really thought I would go into labor in the next couple days. I asked about inducing me and she said they like to wait until 41 weeks but she would schedule me for the following week at 40 weeks and 2 days even though she thought I would go into labor on my own before then. Having a final end date on the calendar was such a relief for me.

As soon as it was scheduled, I was suddenly hoping I wouldn't go into labor on my own. I know a lot of people are against the idea of inductions, but for me I like a controlled environment. Since my labor with Madelyn had been so fast I was scared that if I went into labor on my own I could end up having my baby on the way to the hospital or at home. There's that mantra people say "Baby will come when it's ready". How do you know? Babies can keep growing in there until 42 or 43 weeks and end up needing a c section because they get so huge. I felt my baby was ready, but he was just too much of a chiller to come out on his own. On the morning of December 2nd Luke and I got up a little before 6am and got ready to go to the hospital. My lovely sister Katie was staying at our house to watch our big kids and get them ready for school. The drive to the hospital was much less climactic than I had expected it to be. I thought I would have a fast labor and Luke and I would be speeding to the hospital running red lights and I'd be screaming. Instead we were leisurely cruising along the road chatting about the weather. I had a couple contractions in the car but I had been having those for a month. We got to the hospital and calmly checked in at the front desk and then went into the waiting room to wait for my nurse to come get us. It was such a different experience, it was like we were just checking into a hotel or something! Luke snapped a pic of my HUGE 40w2d belly in the waiting room.

My nurse, Karen, came and got us and led us to the labor and delivery room. Once in there I changed into a gown, and got comfortable in bed. She began asking me a million questions about my health history and pregnancy. She hooked me up to the monitors and we heard baby's perfect little heartbeat and saw that I was already having lots of contractions. She asked if they hurt and I was like, "eh I've felt worse". She started my IV and began pitocin. At about 8 am my mom got there to enjoy the show.

After Aunt Katie dropped the big kids off at school she and my dad got to the hospital too and we all just hung out.

At one point one of my doctors (I went to a practice with 5 docs and this guy was probably my second favorite) came in to see how I was doing. He gave me a hug (like he always did at my appointments, he's a really huggy guy) and he told me I could get an epidural whenever I wanted and that he would be back in at about 1:00 to break my water. So when noon rolled around even though I was only in a small amount of pain I asked to get my epidural started before my water was broken. During my labor with William, I was having the same kind of light pain with my contractions until they broke my water, and all heck broke loose. It was the worse pain ever. So if I could avoid feeling large amounts of pain throughout my whole labor, why the heck not? Two doctors came in to do the epidural and unbeknownst to me, one was an intern who had only performed a couple other epidurals in her whole life. I should have known she was an intern, and it's not like it would have made much difference anyway, but I just thought 'cool 2 doctors for the price of one'. Her resident doctor talked her through the whole thing but she had to stick me with that humongous needle twice and the whole process took way longer than I remember it taking with Maddie and Will. Finally it was in place and I began to feel numb from the waist down. They put it on the lowest dose and I kept it on that for the rest of my labor and delivery. I was feeling good, and even though I wasn't supposed to eat, I was sneaking bites of granola bars when my nurse wasn't there.

I did my hair and makeup in the morning as my contractions were getting started. I didn't have a mirror so my mom held up her phone camera for me.

My doctor came back in at around 1:30 and said I was dilated to 4 and it was time to get things rocking and rolling. He broke my water and said he'd be back soon to deliver my baby boy. And so we waited...

Based on my history of fast labors, I expected things to go fast from this point. Unfortunately that was not the case. Only a little bit after my doctor broke my water I started to feel super nauseous.

I wanted my big kids present for their brother's birth so my dad picked them up from school after lunch to bring them to the hospital. They got there at about two and I was so happy to see them.

They gave me some medication to help with the nausea. (That seemed to be their answer for everything, 'more drugs!' Not that I'm complaining, I ♥ modern medicine) Then I felt so exhausted, I just wanted to sleep. I figured that I was tired because my body was doing all this work of labor so I just rested for a little while. Luke's parents got to the hospital to watch the show and we all just relaxed a little more until the nurse checked me again around 4pm. I thought that since a couple hours had gone by I would have made a lot of progress, but unfortunately I was only dilated to about 5 cm and baby boy's head was still really high. My nurse had me lay on my side and put weird pillows between my legs to try to move baby into the right position. I stopped using the epidural and began to really feel some of the contractions. The epi didn't completely wear off so nothing ever really hurt that bad, and I could feel baby's head slide lower into my pelvis. My favorite doctor from the practice began her shift at 6pm and came to check on me first thing. I was dilated to 9! She told me to have them page her when I felt like I needed to push. A half hour went by and I said to my mom that that maybe I needed to push. It's so weird with the epidural, being able to feel everything happening but not feeling any pain, it's really surreal. My dad, Luke's Dad and William left the room and my nurse came in and checked me. Sure enough I was 10 centimeters dilated! But baby's head was still pretty high up. She had me do a practice push and said, "You have a long way to go". My doctor was right there and she came in and got things rolling. I asked her if they had a mirror so I could watch myself push and she had them roll a huge one in. As soon as thy placed that giant thing in front of my open legs I said, "Ew! take it away!" They didn't, and I'm glad because in the next few moments, I got to witness the most amazing thing I have ever seen. As a contraction came on she told me to push as hard as I could, and with that one push I could see my baby's huge head. "Is that really his head?" I asked. With another contraction I pushed again as hard as I could and his head came out and they told me to stop as they suctioned out his nose and mouth. I could see his head sticking out and it was apparent that he had huge shoulders. I was so thankful for that mirror because I could see how hard I needed to push. With my next contraction I pushed as hard as I could and his huge shoulders came out right away and with it the rest of his body. They placed him immediately on my chest and I cried the happiest tears I've ever cried. Holding him for the first time was so amazing. It was such a relief to finally have him in my arms.

I checked to make sure he was still a boy and he definitely was. The doctor said he looked perfect and he really did. She commented that he didn't look that big, about 9 pounds. So in a few minutes when they took him over to the scale to weigh him everyone in the room was shocked when we saw the number. I heard my mom gasp and was like "What's wrong!?" and she said "10 6!" "What?!?! Like 10 pounds and 6 ounces! I told you all I was uncomfortable!" They measured him and he was tall too, 22 1/2 inches. We had no idea that he would be that big. Maddie was 7lbs 7oz and William was 8lbs 2oz. I didn't gain too much weight and I didn't have gestational diabetes. He's just a big boy. They checked his blood sugar right away and it was normal and they continued checking it for 24 hours and it was always normal. After we were both cleaned up I nursed him for the first time. He latched on like a champ, that boy was born to eat. When William and the Grandpas came back in the room William was so sweet when he saw Benny for the first time. I asked him if he thought the baby looked like him and he said, "He just looks like a baby, they all look the same!" The rest of the evening with was so great. Everyone got to hold Benjamin and we began our new lives as a family of five.

Benny instantly felt like the perfect addition to our family. There was never any adjustment period, it was just like he was always meant to be a part of our family. As I'm typing this out, I'm realizing how boring a lot of it sounds. I guess as far as birth stories go, it was pretty routine and uneventful, and I'm so thankful for that. No issues or complications, and my beautiful healthy 10lb 6 oz baby boy came into the world on December 2, 2014 and my family couldn't be happier.