When working out isn't really working out

Last week I dropped my big kids off at school and went straight to the gym with Benjamin. I'm still 5 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight and have been working hard to get it off. For the most part I've been consistently going to the gym about 4 times a week. It's so much work getting to the gym by the time I actually start my workout I feel like I should be done. I've left Benny in the Y child watch place twice and both times I was so nervous leaving him that I had really crappy, short workouts. I kept running down to check on him every ten minutes, and he was fine, but after doing this 3 times I just picked him up and snuggled him and left. So last week I got to the gym at about 9 am and was going to attempt to drop him off again and actually get a good workout in. I fed him in the locker room for 15 minutes and then as I was burping him he let out a huge poop that went up his back. I had to change him and change his cute outfit that I had just put on him at home. He was a mess so it took a little while to change him, but around 9:35 we were finally ready to drop him off. I signed him in and the usual feelings of anxiety rushed over me as the millions of kids running around made me nervous. Thankfully they said there was a staff member in the baby room so I could put him in there and not have him touched by the rambunctious 3-year-olds running around. Ideally I like to have Benny sleeping when I drop him off so he can just peacefully rest and nobody has to touch him. I walked into the baby room and told the lady I'd try to rock him for a little bit so he could sleep while I was gone. I stood there for 5 minutes rocking him and it was obvious that he was not going to fall asleep. The lady said he'd be fine if he was awake and she could put him in a swing so I handed him off to her and was about to walk away and FINALLY start my workout when I heard a little baby let out a disgusting cough. I froze in my tracks and a million thoughts went through my head in about a millisecond. "That sounded awful! What if that's whooping cough? Even if it's just a cold I don't want my 3 month old baby to get it. Who would drop off their sick child here? How can anyone leave their kids here? I'm not leaving my baby here!" and just like that I said "Give me my baby back!" The lady looked confused and I apologized and said I don't want my baby around sick kids. I don't think she had even noticed the other baby's cough. I had now been at the gym for over 45 minutes and had not gotten in a single second of working out. I signed Benny out of the child watch and the workers gave me weird looks like I was being dramatic. I was being dramatic and I don't care. I then proceeded to go to my car and cry. I don't really know why I cried, I guess it was the frustration of wanting do something as simple as working out but not being able to leave my baby. And the fact that including driving to the gym it had taken us over an hour just to get ready for a workout that never happened. I took a deep breath and calmed down. It wasn't that big of a deal. It was a beautiful day out and we were right next to a park with walking trails. I put Benny in the stroller and we had a lovely 2 mile walk. Did I get the workout in I was hoping for? No, but a little walk was better than nothing. I decided I don't want to try the y child watch again until Benny is older. Some people can drop their infants off there without a second thought, but I can't. My mom can watch him for me while I go to the gym about 3 times a week and I can workout in the evenings when Luke's home from work. I could also look into working out at home more or start running in the morning while Luke's still home. My baby will only be a baby once and these 5 pounds can wait :-)